I apologize, I know that sounds pretty harsh, but it’s true, there is something creepy about third-person resumes, and lately I’ve gotten a run of them. They say things like “Ray is a talented designer who has built three companies” or “Mr. Johnson has twenty years of experience as a widget maker.” You know, like someone was writing an article about them for a magazine, only it’s not a magazine, and it’s not an article or a brochure or anything like that… it’s a danged resume. And I know that you wrote it yourself, Ray and Mr. Johnson, or at least oversaw the process of it, so when it’s written in the third person, it is just plain creepy, like crazy talk.

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